Understanding Grief
Do You Ever Get Over It?
Brenda Layman tackles the age old question of grievers, "Do you ever get over it?" As she candidly explains that you don't get over it, you learn how to live through it, you learn to find hope in what seems hopeless and you grow as the struggles you face help you develop strengths. She shares some of her personal journey and plants the seeds of encouragement for all who have had a loved one die.
The Power Within
Paul Alexander, songwriter and grief counselor, explains that grief is a process. There is freedom in acknowledging the need to go with the flow of what seems like a tidal wave. The only way through grief is to go through it. Every step is a step. There are not shortcuts. We must be true to ourselves in understanding our path. An intimate connection of life and love has been taken from our existence. If we broke a leg we would not argue that we needed rest and healing time. Can you allow yourself the care you need for the hurting part of you?
Questions on Public Grieving
Tony Falzano takes a look at why we are so caught up in understanding how people grieve. He takes a look at our curiosity about how public figures grieve in a way to help us understand our own pain and grief. He asks and answers questions that help us understand our own grief as we look at the grief of others. A few of the questions he addressed are: What do we learn from outward expressions of grief? Could it be that it is necessary for people to share their grief because truth is, it relieves them of carrying their pain alone? And are we there in their last moments of need and life because truth is, it's our duty to be of service for others during their time of helplessness and maybe hopelessness? And truth is; are we being taught so we can teach if it's our turn to deal with and share our own sorrow and grief with others?
Time
Deb Kosmer writer, nurse and grief specialist, shares information about how grief seems to put us in a time warp. She explains that when love dies - time stops. It does not take long for us to realize it is for us only that time has stopped. We stand caught in a time warp while the rest of the world rolls on by. We gradually become aware of this fact and sometimes have very shocking reminders of it, lightening bolts to our version of reality. Some days we may want to scream at the world and the people in it; "How dare you go on? Can't you see I am barely holding on by just a thread? How dare you complain about such ridiculous meaningless stuff? Do you have any idea of what has happened to me? Don't you realize? Don't you care? How dare you laugh and carry on as though nothing has happened? My loved one has died. Nothing is funny anymore. I don't think I will ever laugh again."
Understanding Your Feelings Beyond Tomorrow
Sherry Williams, Grief Specialist, provides insight into the many feelings and reactions to grief. She shares simple and easy coping strategies that will help you can gain a sense of control in your life as you develop a new normal.
Behind Locked Doors
Since the death of your loved one, it is normal to be forgetful and unable to sleep. It is easy to lose things and not so easy to find them. Ginger Ingram shares stories of the humor we can find in our grief if we will laugh at ourselves during those crazy momemts in our grief where nothing and everything seems relevant to just moving forward.
The Crazies
Reverend Dick Gilbert is a grief specialist and he shares a story about his personal experience with grief and how it can make you think you are crazy. Dick will assure you that you are not. Grief just has a way of messing with our mind, spirit and body.
Wishing for Old Clothes
This clever story by Deb Kosmer uses the comparison of new and old clothes to help you understand your grief. She helps you identify and understand your feelings as she encourages you to trust yourself as you travel your grief journey. You may feel like you are taking one step forward and two steps back but keep taking those steps. You will come out on the other side of grief-not better, not worse, but different.
A Carrot, An Egg and Some Coffee Beans
"What would you like to do with your grief?" she asked, tenderly. "You may become weakened by it, you may become hardened by it, or you may allow it to change you in a way that equips you to change your life in a rich and pleasing way." Andy Landis shares a unique look at grief by comparing three very different items-a carrot, an egg and some coffee beans-and how they are changed by adversity. You decide how you want to travel the journey after reading this creative story.
Anger
Brenda Layman takes a unique look at anger as she explains how it is more comfortable than sorrow. She goes on to say that, while we are angry, we can focus our thoughts on an enemy, rather than on our loss, in hopes that we can some how "win" and make things right again. She goes on to explain how anger needs to be acknowledged and expressed in appropriate ways so we can find peace again.
Winter's End
The more I have learned about grief, the more it has struck me that in many ways it is not unlike our weather. Those of us who are are grieving often wonder: When will this end? When will I be better? When will this cold, bleak time be finished? Is there no end to it? Will life always be like today? Find answers to these questions in this article by Deb Kosmer.
Drawing on Experience
Dr. Sandra Graves leads you through an experiencial exercise that helps you understand the function of the emotions that accompany grief. By understanding that these emotions have a purpose, you gain control over them and that control gives you a sense of hope. Learn to explore the basic emotions of grief, mad, sad, glad, and scared and grow through your grief experience.